Sunday, November 30, 2008

DEATH TAKE ME NOW

Yesterday, I wanted to die.

Truly.

I awoke at about 5am and my world was rocking. Not spinning, but rocking violently. I was clutching the bed with all my might and still felt as if I may fall off. When the rocking finally subsided, my body became instantly hot and I broke out into a cold sweat. Within minutes I was crashing through my door and into my backyard, grabbing at my bucket to hurl in. And upchuck I did. To all of you who have had to hold my hair back as I am crying, whining, complaining about not feeling good and “I can’t puke it just won’t come up”…. You would have been proud yesterday. No tears, just an insane amount of rice. This happened 4 times [with the dizziness]. The second time I awoke to my world rocking, I was throwing up so hard that I nearly went in my pants. So as I am vomiting, I am dragging the bucket to my latrine and voila! Both ends at once. Did you know that’s possible? Well, it is. One of my moms was outside bathing and I could hear her tentatively say, “Saatu?...Saatu saasaa?” Which basically means, Saatu’s sick? Oh yes, I was.

Needless to say, I was a whole bucket of misery [pardon the pun] yesterday. Marnie ended up coming over around 11am and made me some Gatorade and brought me some crackers. I finally stopped throwing up around 1 but the diarrhea has yet to cease, even today. Lucky, lucky me!

Sorry Zekeo for calling and waking you up at not even 6am making you get mom. I guess I haven’t changed in that aspect :o]

Anyway, by 4 last night I was feeling 100x better. Liz and I biked to Bambako and we spent the night at Marnie’s. She has got some insane animals at her place. At around 5am [just before the PA system went off and just after Mice Wars 2008 occurred in her ceiling] a donkey came barreling through her compound braying as loudly as can be. What was on its’ tail? A dog, barking as if he’d lost his head. Absurd, I tell you! But entertaining nonetheless.

I came back this morning so that I could have a one-on-one with Bakary at 8am. I’ve been doing work since 9, getting caught up on what I missed yesterday and just generally trying to get ahead. I’m battling with some homesickness today for some reason. Maybe it’s because I know tomorrow is the first day of December and it doesn’t feel like it. I’m listening to Christmas music right now, but it doesn’t feel the season. I need to find a tree to decorate.

Oh, yeah. Amidst my cleaning this morning, I found a mountain of maggots in my house. FILTHY. I am no longer the girl you once knew…. Between the ants, mice, cat turds, bed bugs, mosquitoes, diarrhea/vomit at the same time, maggots…. Man. How could I not have changed??

Friday, November 28, 2008

Fields of Gold **

Today I walked through fields of gold.

I couldn’t help but think of that song by Sting as Whitney, Brendan and I decided to go exploring in the fields. The deeper we went into the African Savannah, the higher the golden rice grew. Soon, the path had dwindled into a mere spindle and I could hardly see my hand in front of my face. The setting sun cast a golden glow on the heavenly meadow around me, & I was content.

I haven’t written for a few days because I’ve been in Tendaba since Monday going through intensive training. It was wonderful to be with everyone again, but I am not a huge fan of the place. To put it bluntly, it was ant-infested. The river was beautiful [as was all the scenery] but the room I actually stayed in with Marnie was God-awful. I was standing in the bathroom [which is basically a toilet, a sink, a drain, and a hand-held shower head attached to a tube] showering when I noticed massive hoards of ants seeping out of the tiles. I screamed [seems to be my new thing], for everywhere I turned, there was a colony of ants running towards me [do ants run? YES THEY DO].

“Marnie, GET IN HERE!” I yelled, attempting to cover up my boobs with my hands and my other unmentionable with the loofah sponge.
“Are you good?” Marnie asked back.
“JUST GET IN HERE!”

She busted through the door, stares, and goes, “I had no idea you had your belly button pierced!” I just about flipped, pointing to the wall. She proceeded to allow a whole slew of swears to come out of her mouth, said, “That is absolutely disgusting,” and then we moved into the med unit. Pretty much that sums it up. Lizzy, Marnie and I crashed there nearly every night. Thank goodness for small miracles… and I missed Bumari and my host family.

My site is Kuraw Arafang. Swear-in date is January 15th, 2009. I am super-close to some of the most amazing people I have ever met. COME VISIT. I need my home people to meet my PC people.

Well, one of my host moms just brought in my dinner… Durango, DELICIOUS [peanut sauce drizzled on rice]. I am so happy to be back here and eating her food again. It’s amazing.

Miss you all, and hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I will write more later :o]

Friday, November 21, 2008

A Mouse in a House... or suitcase.

I think it’s entirely too early for me to be feeling this drained already. Maybe I’m getting sick, or maybe I’m already sick of seeing such sickness around me. Yesterday we were drinking aataayah in Tammy’s compound and playing the Gambian version of Crazy 8’s. There was a little boy, probably 5 years old, who had ‘sick eyes.’ He was just standing there, sniffling, his eyes duller than dull. I looked at him, said, “Naa sii” [come sit], and he crawled into my lap. It was instant heat… I am not kidding, the kid was burning up. I am no judge of temperatures but he was well over 103. I just snuggled up to him, rubbed his back, and tried to not focus on the fact that we’d already had one little child pass this past week. I’m not ready for another one.

Not to mention last night I was fishing around in my suitcase for my pajama bottoms when I came across a mouse. Since when am I afraid of mice? I screamed bloody murder and refused to get out from under my bed net. I had to pee and finally crawled out of bed around 1:30am to squat over the latrine. I could hear that blasted thing chewing on my notebooks and I was IRATE…. I finally put my iPod on and fell asleep that way. This morning I completely cleared out my room and suitcases trying to find the wretched rascal… in its’ place, I found mounds and mounds of mouse poop. Ugh.

I am more than ready for a cold bucket bath and sleep, but I have an insane amount of work that I need to get done. And I am yearning for first snowfalls, snowflakes on frosty windows, and twinkling lights on verdant Christmas trees.

Missing home.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Not The Best...

Today started out like every other day has been for me. I first awoke to the sound of my host father’s voice booming over the loudspeaker at 5am, calling all fellow worshippers to join him in the mosque for the first prayer of the day [I live with the imam. He is wonderful]. I dozed off to the quiet Koranic humming until I heard the shifting of morning activity around 7am. My host mothers were gathering rice and beginning to pound it so they could make rice porridge for breakfast. This is usually when I attempt to climb out of my bed, dust the lingering bugs off my body, and walk out into my backyard.

The view never ceases to amaze me. I have taken several pictures but feel as if they don’t do it justice. I cannot begin to explain how amazing it is to take a shower outside, to the sweet melody of birds and to enjoy the majestic view of the African sun crawling over the horizon. Breathtaking.

I then walked the dusty path to Bakary’s house [my language facilitator/professor]. All was going well as we did our daily morning lessons, when suddenly we heard a scream. Hoards of people began running in the direction of my compound, and Bakary immediately followed.

When he came back, he has a somber look on his face… my host sister, Fatou [lovingly nicknamed LeLe], had died en-route to the clinic in Kwinella. The screaming was that of one of my host mothers. I was completely distraught; while I have only been in this village 5 days, this news was enough to break me. Fatou was only 2 and I didn’t realize how sick she truly was. Kwinella is 2km from Bumari [the village I am in]. To think they were steps away from a doctor shakes me to the core… this life could have been spared.

Needless to say, the funeral was the most heart-breaking thing I have ever been through. The women and men are separated… I was sitting adjacent my host mothers but was blocked by a tin door. After the prayers that were led by the men, several women began wailing. I got goosebumps and several of the PCV’s with me began crying. My mother began screaming, “Why, Why, Why?!” and it just did me in.

And now, I sit on my floor in my hut. My compound is quiet, too quiet. Doors are shut that are usually open like loving arms. The children are not running joyously about, kicking my pink soccer ball around the yard. Even the goats have stopped their bleating.

I feel terribly alone, and so sad. It is incredibly difficult, trying to give my condolences to my family, and having this steep language barrier.

I’m not sure when I will be able to post this entry, but I had to write it out while everything was fresh in my mind. These are the times when I miss home, and my ability to express emotions with people who understand me.

I miss you all terribly.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Naming Ceremony

We had our naming ceremony today! My Mandinka name is Saatu Demba, and I absolutely love it. We were all dressed up in beautiful Gambian clothing, were given pancatos [which are like doughnuts…heavenly!], and then danced. Fun, entertaining, and interesting… the entire village showed up for this, so it was pretty cool.

After that, we had a few hours of language training, and then Brendan and I decided to do some goat-hunting. He has the cutest little white goat in his compound [and he still has his umbilical cord, so he’s super young]. We were playing with him and I named him Mustafa. Now everyone in Brendan’s compound calls him that as well… it took me forever to get the kids to understand that I was not going to call him ‘Baba’, which is mandinka for goat.

I’m wiped, it’s not even 8pm and I’m ready for bed…. So off I go.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I May Be Sane Now... Maybe.

Well, now that I’m in a better state of mind, I feel as if I can write about what’s been going on. Yesterday was incredibly overwhelming, hence the fact that I only wrote in list-style. Yesterday was the Big Bang. Yesterday was the “Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.” Yesterday was the epiphany that I was actually in Africa. Maybe it had to do with the fact that four of us were dropped off at this random village, surrounded by several children. We turned to look back at our bus as it sped down the dusty road and on to the next village… I can only imagine what our faces looked like.

I used the latrine! I made sure to bring my can of bug spray with me and attacked those neon-green flies the second they came out. Rather interesting, actually. And when I have to go numero dos, or have to 7667, or ‘doughnut’, I throw on my headphones and just hang out. That way, I don’t hear everyone having conversations in mandinka around me and forget that there are people gardening less than 2 feet away. Yikes! It’s a lot harder than it seems, let me tell you!

I talked with Liz and Marnie last night. My compound is the middle destination point between all three of our villages. Marnie is under a mile from me [thank you Jesus!] and Liz is about 3 miles in the other direction. I think Liz is going to bike over tomorrow, we have a lot of free time and all three of us seem to be a little overwhelmed, to say the least.

I can’t get over putting bleach in my water. I was told it’s the same as drinking pool water, but I don’t go out and dunk my head under the chlorinated pool and guzzle. I know I need to start drinking more but…. Yechhhh!!

The bed net. I don’t even know where to go from there. I dreamt all night that I was in a coffin. We’ll just leave it at that.

Today has been super mellow. We ate breakfast together [my family made rice with peanuts! I LOVED IT. It tastes like the oatmeal I ate every morning in radiation!]. Then Brendan, Whitney, Tammy and I walked to Kwinella with Kate [she is a PCV who is approaching completion of service next week]. Kwinella is about a mile’s walk and the scenery is beautiful. I took pictures so be ready for me to post some soon!

I am incredibly thankful to my host family, even though they cannot understand a word I say to them. I live right next to the cook of the Peace Corps, so my meals are AMAZING. Ps. It’s just like National Geographic here, if you get my drift. I am totally going to be walking around topless soon. Just you wait!!!!

Well, I’m going to go out into the heat and find my family to see if I can practice more of my language skills. Wish me luck… as I am sure I will need it. Miss all of you so much!!!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

First Night in Village

November 14th, 2008

Things That I Learned On My First Day in a Real Village:

1. Bed nets do not work. Tuck them under your mattress all you want… be prepared to share your sheets with a few spideys and other interesting creatures.
2. You are a foolish Toubab. It doesn’t matter that you’ve graduated college with a bachelor’s degree and can spell anything in the world; the fact of the matter is, you have no idea what these people are saying to you and you pee everywhere BUT in the latrine. Epic failure.
3. Do not eat your dinner on the floor. Do not continue chewing your rice if you bite into something crunchy… it is not a spare bean, it is not an undercooked piece of rice, it is a BEETLE and it is NOT how you should be getting your protein.
4. Cockroaches can fly. Most of the time, directly at you.
5. Inviting the local children into your house once means they will come in whenever they want, whether you are attempting a bucket bath or not.
6. Why would they call it a bucket bath if you can’t fit into the bucket? Splashing water on yourself really doesn’t constitute as bathing. Oh well… swipe on a few more things of Secret and you should be good to go for the time being.
7. Don’t wear tampons [this one coming from Whitney]. They will become lodged inside you and the string will suddenly disappear. You will attempt fishing it out and then your language professor will walk in. Try explaining that one.
8.You will be joyously happy one minute and the next you will be sitting underneath your bed net that doesn’t really net the bugs crying. Hysterically. Convinced you are crazy. Listening to Brandy and KCi and JoJo and other depressingly sickeningly old school songs.
9. When the nurse tells you to filter your water and then put 2 drops of bleach into it, that doesn’t mean dump in the whole bottle, causing your water to be sweet AND warm and ultimately poisoning you.
10. Convincing yourself that you can do this, that you can stay and go through this amazingly terrifying experience will be the hardest thing you can do. Lean on those who have gone through it before. Text and call your neighboring PCT’s. Share your fears about this blasted latrine. Or better yet, just conquer it. In my case, the most regular person in the world, I cannot go. I just can’t do it. Lord help me when I get dysentery.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Brown Town

Well, I'm here! It has taken me forever and a day to get to a computer/phone. I have been soooo busy but it's incredibly wonderful here. For a place that's incredibly hot, I truly feel at home. Strange? I miss the snow!

Let's see if I can recap these past few days quickly. There are only 4 computers here and I have 5 people waiting.

Brussels airport is CRAZY. We got there early, had a 4 hour layover, no one wanted to tell us what we were doing and by the time we figured everything out, we had 30 minutes. For you who don't want to hear this, toughen up: I had the runs like no tomorrow [stupid cheese lasagna in a box from Belgium... HONESTLY!]. The bathroom stalls there are separate rooms... VERY cool.

Get into Gambia finally, it's about 100 degrees [no lie]. The airport is INSANE, lots of Gambian men talking to you, they want you to be their wives and take your luggage. Very intense.

[RANDOM but the people in the room just mentioned it... could someone please tell my dad that spam is a delicacy here??? I've had it like 6 times. I wish I was kidding!Thanks.]

We arrived at the hotel [GPI - it's for missionaries, we have toilets but no TP... just water kettles. I DONT THINK SO... made friends fast with Marnie who has a whole suitcase full of the goods]. My roommate is super super nice and from Ohio. In fact, everyone is SO nice.

Okay.... basically these past few days have been intense language training. I try to sleep as much as I can but we are up at 6:30am and go straight until 8:30pm [which is when dinner ends]. They try to give us 2 hours of personal time a day but it doesn't really work... or hasn't yet.

Yesterday we went to a reptile farm which was SO cool, lots of huge snakes, turtles, and lizards. OH! Lizards are EVERYWHERE! They're the Gambian version of squirrels, I'm convinced. I'm going to catch one... when I told the guard that at GPI, he yelped and said, "You crazy! They bite!"

We went to the beach on Sunday which was amazing. Took lots of beautiful pictures and have two new nicknames from the boys in the group: Brown Town and Olive Goodness. There's a girl here, Liz, who is part cherokee, Irish, Scottish, and English with a little bit of Mexican. We get along really really well!

Today we went to the market and it was NUTS. A man came up to me trying to sell me a shirt... let's see if I can do this in true Kasey story-telling fashion:

man: Ohhhhh hello nice lady, nice lady. You want to buy nice shirt?
me: uhhh, no thanks.
man: So nice! Looks, so green! [it was hideous. HIDEOUS. I wouldn't SLEEP in this shirt.]
me: I'm sorry but I won't wear that.
man: What about your boyfriend?
me: My boyfriend wouldn't wear that either.
[at this point, David is overhearing our conversation *the big brother of the group* and goes:]
David: Yeah, I wouldn't wear that.
man: Oh, you are her boyfriend?
David: Yes.
man: You are so lucky! I see she is very special. If you miss out on her, you are missing a diamond!
David: Oh yes, I know. She is sooo special.

At this point, I am trying to run AWAY from the man and he follows me.
man: NICE LADY! nice lady with the boyfriend, please buy my shirt! You will be more special if you buy my shirt!

It was borderline nuts but I have loved every minute I have spent here. My only fear is I am missing so much at home. I miss my friends and family so much, it's insane.

By the way, have some requests for LETTERS and toilet paper. Please, please save me from the latrine that I will be facing on Friday.

I am learning Mandinka and have learned so much already! I would type it out but they have funky letters and you probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it anyway but.... welcome or hello is: Salaammaleekum.

My number is: 011 220 706 0791 if anyone wants to call me. I get my phone tomorrow because the one I ordered off pricego.org is TERRIBLE. I GET FREE INCOMING CALLS. If you can call me at least just to get one of my eleven calling cards, I will give you their numbers! SERIOUSLY. Starting tomorrow!!!

I miss you all so much. I have written entirely too much and taken up way too much time but will try to get on here as soon as I can.

Love you all,
Kase

[ps. Greg- super cute PCV here whose boyfriend just broke up with him. We are talking SMOKIN and fantastic. You need to find a way to call me/come visit.]

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Land of Rocky Balboa

Well, I made it to Philadelphia! It's currently 9:50am and I have been up since a little before 5. The drive to the airport was fine. I squished myself into Marsey's car and we pretty much rode in silence. Not a lot of tears once we got to Portland; just send me on my way. When I put my bags up on the scale, I was in shock; 140lbs COMBINED! That's more than my entire body weight. I think I was still sleep-deprived, as I passed out before the airplane was in the air and I woke up drooling as we were landing. I am also pretty sure I had been snoring [which NEVER happens], as my mouth was wide open and the old man next to me was staring in horror at the drool smeared across my face.

But anyway.

Navigating through the Philadelphia Airport was interesting. I could not for the life of me find the Holiday Inn Shuttle, I couldn't walk more than 10 feet without stopping to take a breather [thanks, luggage]. So, I attempted to 'hail a taxi'. Yeah. Right. 

Next thing I know, I'm struggling to heave my large bag off the sidewalk towards a taxi when this angry taxi driver crawls out of his car behind me and starts yelling at the cab driver who is helping me. Seen the movie 40 Year Old Virgin? Picture the old guy who works at the store with him who is always saying he doesn't wear a turban on his head and doesn't walk around saying, "Do you want a slurpy?" Except this man had a turban. And my cab driver was Jamaican.

Needless to say, funny yet borderline uncomfortable.

I get to the hotel safely [$29 later!!!!! On top of the $100 mum dished out at the airport for my obese baggage]. I paid the nice taxi driver and tipped him a little extra; "hey lady, this bag is really heavy!" Yes, I know, I see the beads of sweat popping out on your forehead and my arms are still burning.

I got stuck in the circular doors. Does anyone realize how embarrassing this is? IT STOPPED MOVING. I started panicking and this nice Australian man wiggled my 'lighter' bag through the crack and carried it in for me while I tried to shove the doors ahead and push my black bag in. Seriously, I'm going to be in big trouble once I get to Belgium.

Did I mention that the first thing I notice about my hotel is that it's located directly adjacent to the Philadelphia Fire Department? Wonder who that immediately reminded me of. Goodness, I'll be missing you something awful.

Well, it's time for me to find some food [perhaps smooshed pumpkin bread? oatmeal creme pie crumbs?] and attempt to rearrange all my luggage. My goal is to find 40lbs to transfer and stuff into 2 backpacks.

Wish me luck...
xox Kase


Monday, November 3, 2008

Night Before Departure

Well, my first time writing a blog... and what a time to begin! My mum has just stomped upstairs and demanded I finish packing. Whenever I walk into her room and see all my stuff littered on her floor [and NOT in my open suitcase], I get this stab of nostalgia. I have to keep telling myself, I can do this, I can leave everything I know and love to enter a country where I'm going to be surrounded by complete strangers.

They will become family, I know that.

I will be up bright and early tomorrow morning to make my 7am flight to Philly. Saying farewell to my sister and mother is going to be killer.

Signing off now, Jo is on her way over as well as my dad, and so the goodbye's begin! Wish me luck...
xox
Kase

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